Monday, May 12, 2008
SNAKES IN THE COMODE
If anyone caught the latest cult horror-thriller feature flick 'Snakes on the plane' staring Samuel L. Jackson, they would have some idea of a recent episode I experienced regarding an uncomfortable incident at my parents home where I have been staying while they have been away. I admit I never saw the film having a healthy respect for the creatures as long as they stayed within their natural environment.So there I was at home after a long day of work rushing to relieve myself. Afterwards, I flushed several times but then noticed a long, black thing floating in the comode. I was perplexed. On further examination, I realized the unthinkable and with a frantic outburst shouted a parphrased version of Samual L Jackson's famous line in the movie..."there's a motherfucking snake in this motherfucking comode!!" The rest of this story ranges from the sublime to the rediculous with the assistance and collective cowardess of both my niece and nephew ..but we shall come to that later...Being from the tropics and far too overly sensitive to spiritual matters, my immediate thought was that someone had placed a voodoo hex(Obiah) on me. Snakes being the most symbolic of that. I immediately got my tattered Anglcan prayer book and opened it up to the 23rd psalm, reading it while placing it onto the closed lid of the toilet. I then proceeded to empty a full box of Ajax in hopes of killing the poor, frightened creature should that fail.An hour went by and the snake remained alive and as dangerous looking as ever poised and flexed to strike. It was then I decided to get the assistance of my niece and nephew who lived not so far away.My nephew had just returned from his studies in Canada where he was studying marine Biology and environmental studies. He informed me of the type of snake, its genus and assured me that although they do bite, I was in no immediate danger. Still, the thought of having to spend a night with this viscious looking thing in my bathroom was not a comforting thought. So I left my nephew armed with a long stick and bucket to dispose of it while my niece anxiously stood behind him looking on.I disappeared outside to smoke a cigaret. As I took a long, nervous pull of smoke, I heard some loud banging and yelps as they both dashed towards me. I knew then I had to take immediate action, so I rushed to the bathroom with stick in hand. The snake, after some prodding, slipped out of the comode. It was long and gigantic. I thrusted my stick hard as it turned to charge toward me. With a couple of explatives, I clamped down and covered it with the bucket. My niece and nephew then removed the creature releasing far from the house. I said to myself with an almost innocent gesture. "The ordinary person would have just killed the damn thing"....but my nephew assured me with full sincerity that all God's creatures must be treated with the dignity of life and respect..and so I left them...repeating fervantly the 23rd psalm..."ye though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...I shall fear no evil..."