Time for a hamburger...

Nothing really offends me any more and I am not that thin skinned. How I grew up I have learned that people are prepared to say just about anything particularly when politics is involved. It is a good training ground.I should not presume any thing about anyone because I don't even know who those woman were but it does illustrate how insenstive we all are about each other regarding just about anything. I don't really take it all on. We have become desensitized to everything. Am I hurt? Well a little -I would have expected more from the understanding of the human condition. It was not my gay pride that was hurt but to many other people from all walks who have taken this program toward reform. The serenity prayer was for the drug and alcohol rehabilitation centre that I have just come out of and there is little respect for people's perspectives here without understanding where they are coming from. love should never hurt, it should heal and still all this was about them and not about the other.There are many inequities here that has left a people feeling powerless. It creates anger. There truly does need to be a comprehensive cultural program that sincerely addresses some of these needs and voices. I am really tired now as I feel I have put my heart and soul into a creative effort of seeing a better way foreward for what that is worth. That was just the devil in them! I really don't have any problem with anyone's perspectives and have tried to understand and respect many. It is important for interdependency in a co-dependent world. I think it is time for a hamburger and to chill. I do believe however that I am quite close to some things that are unlocking some of these mysteries that I beleive we each hold within us. I always think about humanity. May we save ours....incidently before I get acccused of not annotating some of my resources, I do have to go back and put in quotation marks some of these definitions which at times I have used the internet to help me with as some of these symbols were new to me and they came fast and furious. Also foregive the spelling mistakes, I am the worst speller and always have been...peace to you...and you know why I know I am no prophet or psychic? I have to get on and live life like everybody and earn a living which is tough for right now. I think it is important for all of us not to give up hope..everything in its time...peace...

Can someone take away your light?..Only if you let them. Just think of the universe and how free that is. They then begin to look small in comparison...

Peace and love....a drop...

Serenity prayer...

	God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Love and the process of healing...

I do wish to thank the people at the Sandi lands rehabilitation Hospital for helping along in my recovery for drinking in their drug and Alcohol unit. I took the program there for six months. It is hard to admit that one has a problem and in this case it was an intervention which forced me to face that. I am very forthright about it as I believe there is no shame in admitting when one is on a destructive path. There are three very beautiful councilors whom I am indebted to and their work is selfless as they have very little resources but gave their heart and soul into what they do. There are many people like that in the Bahamas. Remember I am not claiming anything more than using my ability as an artist to self heal. I needed a higher force to help me along. One will always be an alcoholic and it is a daily effort. I thank God everyday for helping me through. My art is my life. I live it and I am no prophet but do create intuitively. I have a lot going on in my head. This is my truth and I claim nothing more than that. Peace be on your journey with love and may your light blind...

Metaphors?

..and I am sorry if the poetic metaphor of Ezekiel offended some. I use many from many perspectives.I am old and perhaps it is lost and changed in a generation...

Lights of Infinity...peace and love

Martin Luther King jr...

Martin Luther King jr was an American clergy. He is best known for being an iconic figure in the advancement of Civil rights in the United States and around the world, using non violence methods following Mahatma Gandhi. Now I know he has been very much criticized within the Black community but with these communities imploding with violence and hate perhaps it is good to take a brief look back as a touch stone but I agree it really does take two tango...peace

Metaphor of Light...

Light is not a metaphor. It is a physical property that exists. It is the promise and hope and everybody has one. It is important to let each others shine whom ever that may be. That is zero. It requires creativity and acceptance of each others reality. It is not a color, race, complexion, orientation, gender or Religion. It is being free too move within that energy. It is important to claim it without fear. Dance within it as hate will try to bind it and keep it in injury. It is demonic when others try to control it- it is their fear of embracing their love. Sometimes it means being blinded in love and in hate but only love can heal both. Let go and let love and those who cannot follow then just let them be. You are teaching them liberty. It is the greatest food and one that is needed here badly. Other wise it will be only soup kitchens that will feed. It is the fundamental principle but we have to start gradually. I try to do it through my art and touch who I can. I hope that is enough...peace.

Peace...

Ghandi...

Satyagraha...

'Satyagraha means soul force or truth force. It is a practice of non violence resistance which was developed by Mahatma Ghandi in the Independence movement. Satygraha theories influenced the struggles of Nelson Mandela to end apartheid in South Africa and also Martin Luther King in his civil rights movements in the Untied States'...Peace

...and thank you God for holding my hand.

Ezekiel and other stories...

Many of my earlier poems have strong biblical intonations. I am not apologetic for this as this is where the root of much of my spirituality has emanated from. Certainly it is a good book like many others but not when it is used for a tool of oppression. The 'Valley of Dry Bones' is a poem which I wrote after seeing the alienation and decay of some of our urban centers. I had just returned to the Bahamas and was blinded by some of what I saw. This poem was an invocation of upliftment. Ezekiel is a common theme in the black community and traditionally a symbol for the oppressed. It is hard to follow one's own path in creativity as it may not be respected or understood by others particularly in the arts. I am glad that I did and I am leaning there is no wrong way on the path to love. Each should be respected. The Stations of the cross is about suffering just before being released into unconditional love. It is about healing through atonement and forgiveness. It is a beautiful metaphor and one that gives hope. Sadly many I believe create from wounds that have not quite healed but that too is a process that eventually will bring about peace. I struggled for many years. My separation was deep and I hid it in alcohol. I write all this to say that there is life after addiction and one does need a great faith to overcome. I experiment with my writing and am no great technician. My later and really my earlier attempts have been about the flow of consciousness without the lines. Earlier in my writing stage I wrote hard hitting political poems but this was in anger. I believe my path more than art has been about love. It hard to do it sometimes but I'll struggle on through. I prefer now to write love poems and other themes. I love the art of story telling.The symbols of the butterfly, the star and the goat all shone in the light today. They eventually dissipated and there was just light. I think that is what love looks like...peace

and really I did see this image it was grotesque but today I saw a cross released with a halo. I still don't really understand much of these symbols and how they relate to me. I will venture on...peace and love...

Food...

I really thought of this last image that I put on. I know I can feel guilty because I know I can give more but really we touch people everyday in our lives- God sees. The kindest gesture may make a difference in someone's life however little. Sometimes I take more than I give.I believe education is what we really need here free of prejudice. I believe in critical thinking and that will empower the individual to make choices for themselves. Give him a fish if he needs it but teach him how to. Learn about self but without the context of anyone else is not balance. Any prejudice is ugly. The stations of the cross is an important symbol for Christians as it refers to the final hours of Christ - it is the ways of sorrow and there is much inequity here regarding many things. I think many have forgotten the poor. Sometimes I can get caught up in some of these narratives of division( its hard for me to hide) but when I engage I know it is my pride acting out. I hope art is enough as I have given to this and other communities again and again. Seeing the light of purpose means being and sometimes freedom requires seeing it. People may get jealous of that light but it will take you to the highest degree. Others may know that it is attainable for them just by that claim of you. Continue to be as it is also food. Peace, love and respect....

The Stations...

Now I don't follow any of these symbols or religions particularly as they have become merely about each others morality. I am confident I have tried to live by one but this is also a morality and I am told the most important of them all. I am instructed to put this symbol up to remind what it meant at a point of suffering and what he saw was just as ugly. This place is a disgrace. I truly just wish to see my butterfly but I was told that day to see the star more. I shall release this image as it did come to me...peace and love...

Unconditionally....

This last image was very profound and really I see many images often relating to me but this one took a turn and it was a very complex one. it was the figure of a Christ with his crown of thorns twisting in his suffering. I repeat I am not that religious but this did resonate and it was a powerful image. It meant we have forgotten the most important message that this particular symbol represents - the poor. It is something that I believe now we shall be very greatly judged for. People should never be going to bed hungry in a land of plenty. His eyes was watching over them and they shall be the one's to see prophecy as their passage into his kingdom is free. He saw the least among us.I don't know because i am sure i can give more but this did give me thought to pause. and really nothing about me...

Peace and love...and thank you

Paths...

If it was your path to love with a higher source as your inspiration then it is time to let go and let God. It is important to trust that process before all else. It was just understanding that love can heal but it takes forgiveness and knowing that you are loved. Separation is just an illusion.I have tried to help a lot of people along the way in my life but in this case it was 'physician heal thy self'. It might even take seeing your self as equal and not so perfect. That is humility. In this instance it was seeing myself wholly. I don't know what we are going to do with the mess up country but maybe we each could make a difference where ever we are. Some of these divisions are really far too deep. Perhaps the better wisdom is just to let it be.Follow your own light as they are all points of infinity. You would be amazed the people you might meet everyday who you could touch and have them touch you. I've met some incredible people. I'm happy,the people i know i love and they love me.Anyway, that's my story now I hope to clear a way for the new. I never know what's next!

Peace, love and harmony...

may I begin to learn it with sincerity. I know I have always tried...

Journeys...

..and God speed on each of our journeys whether one is christian, Muslim, Jewish, Rasta, Hindu, atheist, Gay or straight, black or white, rich or poor etc....all should be about love and really I think God is only concerned how we treat each other with love in mind ,equality and respect. You can't really disguise that to God...There were many angels guiding me on mine and I am grateful to them all..

New Narratives...

I am beginning to have more complex images now . They are intermixed with some of the simpler ones. Some I wish to remain private. I am not so dedicated to speak of this always but this is a process of healing and I used the best tool I know, my creative expression. I hope it has not been too personal but I am creating always and it started to surface there- first with birds, lots of them. Truly, I am merely a story-teller and visual artist. Like i said I might just wish to paint or write about eating a hamburger. I think that time is drawing near. That is the point, one has to clear the old in order to move onto the new. I had called on both the ancient and the new to clear the way for other narratives. I wish to start from a point of love. Nobody has lived a perfect life and it might take forgiveness to find it.That isn't a religion just being human and wishing to move on.I am human and the ego will always be there but hopefully it will be healthy and healed. I am amazed how far some of this baggage can be and how it is easy to bring it into other situations. It was time to let it all go. Peace to you on your journey, each is unique to the individual and no one is more or less than the other, each of us has a story planted in the stars and on earth ...be free...

Peace and Love...

Forgiveness and light...

I may as well complete all this now that I have started. I can get really deep when speaking about spirituality. It has been my journey learning about it with its peoples and I have read much. Art has revealed many of its secrets and I have tried to make it about love. I have just begun to embrace the intuitivness which in this particular instance has come through holograms that I have been attempting to paint ad write about. I am and have always seen this through creativity and art learning from as many perspectives as possible. I hope that never stops. There is this image that I would like to share as it is really about transforming self. The image of the goat appeared again rising into the five sided star with light. Within it there were geometric lines interchanging. If one is to invert the five sided star it becomes the sign of the goat. These are merely metaphorical symbols I am talking about. It is the self and for all purposes it was a reflection of me already in place. My decision to release it into the light of love completed its journey. Self is important but it must heal with love to be balanced. It takes contrition and forgiveness. Simply, I am sorry and I do forgive any harm against me ect..Some of these wounds what ever the situation can be quite deep but contrition with the act of forgiveness is God. Each is healed through the process of love. I have decided to be contrite and forgive. One must expunge the record. It released the injured self which obscured that love. That hurt self was released into that light not in the injury of darkness. It was important for me to move on to create new narratives and not repeat patterns of old. So peace to you and love...The star and the butterfly shone in the light...

and this time God is watching...peace, love and equality

'cause he tired of all dis hate...

Thank You - God...

...and harmony

Peace...

Om..East Indian spiritual symbol for peace from the hindu spiritual text of the Vedas...

Love and Guidance..

Love and guidance is often what I pray for and I believe that guidance shall bring love. I can often make the wrong choice in that and have repeatedly. It is scary to love again and to take that chance. I am careful as I have a tender heart and truly I can wait. This for me is about balance and learning to love self with the help of a higher source. People are denied 'voice' here and what is pornographic about that is that it is done by those who believe they are the only ones entitled to it- there are some who believe they have a right to kill as a result of it. It is so wrong for a country's development and stifles any progress. It stops freedom from happening and it is oppressive. It is in my eyes anti-God. Many realities in the universe surely we can find some space for that in this little country. It is just about respect of each others perspective. None of these other realities are a threat to me as they each claim to emanate from a point of God's love.
Peace to you on that journey as it is harmony...

Butterflies and Freedom...

This for me is about freedom. I can see many obstacles still ahead but I am prepared to fight it with dignity and my right to free speech is my right to live freely unfettered from those who believe their monopoly on God is higher than any other. It is arrogance to the highest degree. Ultimately it is just about power and control as who really does have the right to decide that for another with any good conscience. The images that I see now are still interchanging. As opposed to the other day where there was the goat(self) interspersed with the five sided star (Bethlehem), I now have the interchanging images of a Butterfly and the same star. Before it was one was trying to be born over the other. I decided on unconditional love rather than self love both emanating from the point of infinity. Neither was evil but it was about balance. I chose the symbol of God over self but each should exist with love. I met an American woman artist the other day who told me should had just done a big sculpture of a goat. I already have phobias about it and sent her in a different direction. There is nothing wrong with the self but to worship it over God is not balance. Again I am not Jewish but the double Mobius symbol has ancient roots in many cultures but it is the one symbol I have mentioned which cannot be inverted to produce an opposite affect. It is a balance of the triangles - man and God as one and love being the higher source. All I can say really though is that this is my journey and based on the influences of my path and culture. There are many other people who find love in other ways and I respect their path. I am merely attempting to explain mine as this was the struggle. This Butterfly now is the symbol of freedom combined with the star which gives it unconditionally. It is limitless beyond the stars and butterflies are free to fly...peace and love!

Whalt Whitman and other stories...

I am a fan of the American poet Walt Whitman. He is best described as the father of free verse but was stylistically the transition between transcendentalism and realism. He has a tendency to be rather jingoistic but I am more interested in his struggle to identify himself within his own poems. It is argued by scholars but it is generally agreed upon that he was gay. He wrote at a point in time in history- 18th century America - where one could be killed for being that much less write about it. He is not so overt but there is much controversy for its heavy sexual content. What I find most appealing about him however was that he could make the stylistic transition from the carefully orchestrated mount of words into pursuing his desires through free verse. He did so by removing those lines that defined traditional poetry to speak through his words. He began to say what he felt he was denied to say thus transforming how the medium of poetry was used. I have always been attracted to writings that touched on transcendentalism attempting to discover the great mysteries of metaphysics (beyond the physical) , that venturing into the individual struggle to understand it. I started my initial efforts in writing with that in mind. Sometimes they appeared as contrived affectations of other styles. I did see myself though the evolution of finding a more personal voice and that can be identified in my later poems which became more like conversations. I believe I was following a similar path as Whitman who felt the need to speak honestly about what he was feeling without the formal trappings of allusion to convey his inner emotions. Certainly I admire all poetry whatever perspective or style. It is an important step in finding one's own 'voice' which should be based on an honesty from self. It could also be a point of healing which I have indicated that many artists have broken the silence to heal their pain -much of the things I have said about breaking cycles of abuse. Mine was more a self destruction against self love and acceptance. It is a point of departure which I may now begin to develop fully with confidence a writing style that is personal to me. I think if I were to be honest I think I love writing a little more than my visuals but that is a hard decision to make. What has been wonderful about this experience in self discovery is that I was able to integrate both as each demanded the interpretation of the other - the lofty transcendental understandings operating in my mind combined with the simplicity of my art. As for my unfortunate incident the other day about our racial divisions. I am confident that the world and the Bahamas has progressed beyond this petty ignorance and both Black and white are more educated now to see their way clearer ahead of this...peace and love...

State of Affairs and Racism...

I recently had an unpleasant incident which reminds me that we really do have a long way to go here. I often chastise Bahamians fro their intolerance and being from the the black community I have tried to high light things that I feel we need to advance ourselves in at a point of equality. I must say however that I do not exclude any other community or culture from this perspective. Occasionally I am reminded that prejudice does exist here at a point of our racial divide. I have forgotten how ugly that can be. It does remind me of those old days when there was such an impasse- I am old enough. When this happens I have to remind myself that I am on a different path away from that ignorance and the seeds that I am attempting to plant are those which far exceed any reminder those former days. It cannot be disguised merely resurfaces in subtler forms in this case it was blatant and overt. My hands have crossed the divide many times over but it is important to remember that pockets of hate still exists. When this happens one should expose it to give it oxygen and to challenge it to call it what it is. There are places in Nassau where I refuse to go any longer because of the obvious bad treatment that Bahamians experience. I am not alone and privately many agree to just stay away for peace and some sort of harmony. I will not go into any details of what the experience was or name the individuals involved as that is not the point of this particular dissertation. It is to say that when one encounters such ugliness, it should not divert one from a path that is meant to transcend the lower belly of man. Sometimes to place yourself there with them is to continue the narrative which only empowers ignorance. Some people cannot travel because of their limitations and the need to feel superior in a plastic world that is imploding. I have learned that the best way to challenge hate to love over, around and beyond these people whomever they may be. Ghandi said 'an eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind' You do not have to love your enemy but do not feel that their hate can stop love. Perhaps in those cases the best we can ever hope for is co-existence.Peace and respect and continue to foster ones own destiny your place is guaranteed among the stars, mine are my strange little paintings....Remember it does not mean denying who are but affirming it with love. Many will not attempt to even learn about that because they do not value that or you...

Peace...

Incidentally this new renewal is accompanied with not worrying what people say or think. That too has been a journey as they say a lot of hateful and nasty things here and else where. I am sure that there are very few people listening to me but that does not matter as it is a path I have chosen for myself and so the rewards I feel are from that effort. My measurement for beauty has for the most part been that which happens from within regardless of the outer casing or from what station but in all honesty I too have made decisions based on fears. I believe it is ok to gravitate to those that makes one feel comfortable. That is what I have always done but they are an unusual hotch potch of realities. Generally I have found that there is essential good in everybody but I try to stay away from the wolves. I think that is everybody's journey. I am quite prepared to understand that my art and creative expression may not be understood in my life time but it is the job of the artist to push the envelop and mine is only one way of looking at it perhaps it is a voice that people will begin to appreciate in time...that is infinite!

Transition and Change...

When I gave up drinking it was a scary process. I literally had a creative block. I was void of any ideas but struggled on putting paint to blank space. It was hard as I believed that my creativity came from the bottle. Actually during this time in retrospect there was a purity in my art that reflected an honest approach to the formal principles but more importantly who I was as a person. I truly had given up on life before this point. Art came easily to me and as long as I had that i didn't care. When that became threatened I really felt I had nothing without it. It was worth the pain of that however as now that I have regained this creativity back it is clearer and not out of balance with myself. I talk about the darkness striving for light in the images of my art but really this is a common theme that happens to artist from the 19th century English poet Tennyson to any contemporary artist who often sees themselves in isolation. It was important for me to let in the light. I did not value what it was I was doing and really during this time there were some artists who recorded what I did. There is much there and I am grateful to them. I do have to reiterate this, as it was just repeated to me by one of our finest artist here in the bahamas (Hilton Woodside) that realism for him is just picture not art. I agree but people usually are comfortable with what they know and fear what they do not understand. This journey I have done is about integration. I do not recommend it as it can be very painful with a lot of rejection and at times I hated. I still do sometimes. Sadly people normally view success as dominion over another rather than releasing the ego into trusting a higher understanding to see true equality and love. That too can be painful as no on should follow anyone or anything blindly without question or reason. People normally follow their envy, jealousy and hate that is why they seldom can rise above that.
I wish to start onto canvas again. I hope things start picking up financially so I can make this change. It is time to make this transition as I feel there will be interesting developments emerging in my art. I also will begin displaying my poetry again. So with the help of the creative forces I will begin expanding on what I have been discussing...peace, love and respect...

"There is no art without poetry."
-- Eugène Delacroix

19th Century Romantic artist

Street Artist...

I seldom wish to take on titles but again this is about describing my creative process. Like I said, I believe I am being guided to explain who I am as an artist so please forgive the indulgence. I think I can take on the name of 'Street artist. I believe it is fitting as it is where I get the most of my inspiration in its nakedness and honest appraisal about life. Occasionally I get into some of its brawls like today. I have been asked quite recently to go into a studio by one of our leading artists but the appeal was not there yet. I do intend to do it when I work on my exhibit which involves more concentration and focus. The creative spontaneity of my art is what I find the most appealing about being out there. This can be equally frustrating when I wish to develop a theme better but for the most part it has worked well in a more concentrated effort in narrowing down my ideas. It is hard as I think as an artist but know the are the practicalities of being more commercial as I do make them tourist items. However, It is helping me to develop my personal style. I do them quickly and over the past two years with some time off for my drinking program I estimate I have painted over three thousand of them. At times it has been slap dash with some really awful ones but it has been great training in focus. I try to make the attractive but to keep my spirit alive I touch on themes that may be cultural but for the most part they have been spiritual. I just don't do pretty pictures but I see nothing wrong in painting traditional themes. I feel I have a foundation now to really begin developing as a fine artist and I don't know how long I will remain out there but for now it is my bread and butter which is still touch and go right now. I have a tendency as an artist to be around places where life is happening. Either in cafes on like I am now on the strip.
I am not trying to make a political point but really I get a freedom to experiment with my creative ideas better out there than anywhere else. I think I am too independent as I reserve all those rights for myself. I am stubborn about it. I have been painting on tiles but essentially I have been painting on recycled wood with some canvas. I think I shall return at some point to canvas again. This has been really to cut overhead costs but I do enjoy painting on many rough and smooth surfaces as it brings on different challenges in freeing brush strokes. Like in my writing I think about music a lot and integrate color and form to work from these formal classical principals.They have been for the most part semi abstract working from the basis principles of the Modern artist. I am not a realist which gives me some insecurities but this is an integration of my experience with different peoples and cultures with my personal philosophies which i have attempted to explain. People generally around the world feel more comfortable if they can identify an object but I hope to challenge these perceptions of comfort ability and safety merely to embrace wider understandings to change perspectives. This takes courage and patience. They have been rustic. I am in training. I can get quite abstract but I push it way out then come back in to simple form and shape. As I went through the creative process of transformation and change my painting became extraordinarily simple 'child-like' with metaphors to show the uniformity of symbols pertaining to the human consciousness. I believe the act of creativity is freedom and I have tried to free myself of lines into space to sense that reality. I am different and perhaps an acquired taste but it is how I am developing as an artist. I trust the process. it is better for the artist to describe their own work so it is not misinterpreted by other assertions. Art is not a competitive sport and in fact works better when you release yourself from that mentality while staying alert and open to its challenges.I also am seeking to integrate these principles in my writing which has also gone through a myriad of styles. Sometimes less is more and simplicity should never be construed as talentless. Naivety could hold some of the most complex principles relating to universal understandings encompassing some of its mysteries... Above all I am a hopeless romantic and often follow those themes.The process and learning continues...peace..and continued love...

Flock of Gulls...

From the Ocean's soul
sea bird rising
raising with flight
navigating freedom
from its deep
mysteries
harmoniously
spreading wings
huge and wide...

Dream catcher...

Children are the hope for the Future and their dreams...teach them wisely with love...They are beautiful and God's highest priority!

Hope and the Imagination...

Do I really have conversations with a higher understanding? I believe so but I cannot prove anything. At the least I have an extraordinary imagination that strives for the highest ideals. It is a good moral compass to work from. I place it within some spiritual and creative narrative for me to comprehend and work from. I believe one should love whether there is a God or not. It is called being human. As much as I have celebrated my mother during this time in all honesty there were moments that I cursed her too for grounding me with that sense of morality. As far as I can remember she gave unselfishly with gentility and kindness. She was also a great intellect and avid reader who continually thought the state of the world She believed she had the power to change it- her power tool love. I suspect I can be a big turn off to some to think so deeply and to go on like this all the time. The mind is a powerful thing and can take you everywhere or even make you believe that the walls are caving in when they are not. Everything is about perspective and how one approaches life with a positivity and hope. I can get disillusioned at times and waver between the two worlds. That is being human. I believe the true dynamics for change is love. I shall keep speaking it as to change now in my late life is to agree to the lesser state of 'man'. I really love children and to play with them because in their innocence they can easily reach into the power of their imagination without any effort with joy and love. They are unfettered. The imagination springs hope and we should try to keep each others dreams alive- young and old. I make the grand assertion that this holds personal and greater 'truths' that keeps us connected as human beings. So whether there is a God or not I cannot say. Does it really matter outside of how we treat each other. I believe but doubt keeps me humble and faith with prayers contains that with humility....peace, love and respect....

PEACE...

Sea Bird -Fly...

Mysticsim, Spirituality and Art...

I have a tendency to be self depreciating about everything I do, including my creativity. It is because I know I am no where I wish to be as an artist and if I took more time I could develop things further. Art is my passion and what ever relationship I do end up in I think that will be their only rival. I have worked hard over the years in trying to understand a path to take regarding it. I have suffered for my art and am pretty poor but have had the privilege which has exposed me to greater understandings and travels. Actually much of which I talk about is not strange at all if anyone has read or worked with other cultures or exposed themselves to reading and writings. I have now taken to explaining how this process happens as I believe I am being guided to reveal how I work and approach it. Years ago I worked with the great Bahamian artist Tony Mackay. For those who do not know, Tony was a fine musician and an artist who drew on cultural and spiritual mysteries through his art. There was recently an exhibit for his paintings. They are 'child like' but held information primarily from his Bahamian roots which he traced back to Africa. He was for all purposes a mystic. He is perhaps best known as the 'Obiah man' and in the sixties spent much time in Grenedge village, New York which was an artist colony with some of the greatest artist and Musicians the sixties and seventies had ever produced I am proud to call him my friend as he was foremost a beautiful human being. I spent many years with my friend watching him as he worked and how he approached art. He spoke of how he saw images and guides that gave him inspiration. I was young and could not quite appreciate what he was referring to. I too had imaginative images but they were more universal in nature so our paths divided as I moved onto my personal journey of discovery. Mysticism is the pursuit of communion with, identity with, or conscious awareness of an ultimate reality, divinity, spiritual truth or God through direct experience, intuition, instinct or insight. Mysticism may be dualistic maintaining a distinction between the self and the divine, or not. Differing religious traditions have described this fundamental mystical experience in different ways. For Judaism the mysteries were held in the writings of the Cabala or in Islam Sufism. These mystical arms have remained controversial in these faiths but many if not all cultures hold the secrets to universal mysteries. The Native American as opposed to Christianity refers to it as the 'dream quest' and unlike Christianity does not inhabit good or bad spirits nor hold a heaven or hell. Each encounter with a spirit or image is merely there to help the individual along his or her path. Traditionally in most earth cultures including Africa there existed the role of the Shaman. They still exist in some cultures. Shamanism encompasses the belief that shamans are intermediaries or messengers between the human world and the spirit worlds.Now I express all this to say that what I have been experiencing as an artist is not unusual at all and outside of these traditional roles I believe each individual inhabits their personal understanding of these mystical secrets that relates to them and community, the conduit being creativity. Therefore art and artists may find themselves in touch with some of these universal and spiritual mysteries. My journey started off as a journey of self which is now evolving into the passage of the soul. Like in the symbol of the double mobius which embodies both the self and soul, there will always be a struggle to find the balance of the two. Each is needed to create harmony, peace and mind. I can quite easily get lost in the equation. In fact with the image of the star of Bethlehem there was an interchanging image of the Goat which relates to self, each struggling to be born. My path however is about light and love and I have chosen the sign of unconditional selfless love (not me but God). Why was it important to see this symbol of Christianity for me? It was a struggle as I really did believe that being gay was against the fundamentals of this faith. It was a conflict that I have had to live with. That is why I said that this was the most assuring symbol of all as in spite of what we are taught through fear that God's love is unconditional no matter who we are. I am satisfied with that and in all honesty I believe it is a conflict that most Bahamians go though at a point of self loathing and fear what ever the delema. There is no need and no man or woman is connected to God more than the other. We have a tendency here to hold onto the prophesies from the old testament instead of embracing the new with light and love. It should be respected for those who follow it however that does not entitle anyone to speak on behalf of another taking away their right to their spiritual truth. To do so removes free will and is fascistic. In the Bahamas it is terrible here because we are so caught up in divisions - PLP, FNM, UBP, Black Bahamian, white Bahamian, rich and poor- who has time to see their potentiality or find true love with all this shit and each generally in their own corner and safety groups. I guess this is what God dealt me and the world is really just the same only different realities. My problem has always been that as soon as I decide that I am gay some man shows up on the scene. This has been a test as it is comfortable not to test the waters of my own consciousness and truth. For anyone else who may struggle with anything just ask the question who do you love more...that should be your guide but there are no guarantees.I make this journey now with acceptance and know i do not have to repeat patterns emanating from fear or simply on one i just have to settle on. As for my art I give it away everyday without some journal of what I am doing. I am assured by my guides that they shall resurface as worthy pieces of art. I have experimented with many styles during this time but the simplest one brought me the greater understanding of these Universal understandings. I am not fixed and will change with the questions I continue to ask...peace, love and respect and the choice and life is entirely yours enjoy the journey...with love and light as your protection however one perceives that...and the next time dey say..'that's what in the Bible', say 'God tell me love better'...and people should not be afraid if they are attracted to someone of their own sex because it really does not mean that one is gay but if you are there is nothing wrong with that either..be happy!

Spirit Guide..

I recently did a painting which I entitled 'Spirit Guide'. It was of an old Bahamian man smoking a clay pipe with a gray beard. I painted several of them and one I believe last year. They were very rustic and true to style. I thought it may have been some tourist gimmick I was painting but last night I saw an image of the same man. I do not quite know who he is but wish to thank him as well as many others who were my spiritual guide during this time...Like I said you probably have to be an artist to appreciate how I work intuitavely which may sound extraordinarily strange to the average person but I trust the process...

In the Heavens...

Heavenly father
grace beyond
my body
my spirit lives
through your heart
love essential
to your sight
and with
that guiding light
I am saved
from the storm
thank you...

Acceptance...

I think I have the ability to frighten people. I don't mean to but I can get quite intense and passionate when I speak about something which I feel that is of some importance to myself. At times I think I can be too abrasive which has more to do with being honest about the given situation. It may lack some of the eloquence and sensitivity needed but I like to be frank and straight forward. Actually I am very mild mannered and my rebel rousing days have long since past. I sincerely try to put into practice what I preach so believe I come from a point of honest talk based on things that I encounter on a daily basis. These recent symbols are more than to do with art I believe but more about helping me with a spiritual anchor ultimately in this search for truth. This is important as I was essentially brought up as a Christian but I felt i needed to dismantle those organs to accept myself as the Church is fixed here and elsewhere that my preference is unacceptable.There is more to life than a Biblical principle and when we look at a greater world far more complex. The symbol that have remained constant for the past few days is the Five sided star symbol. That is, as I have indicated, is the star of Bethlehem and an emblem of Christianity. Remember that these symbols are from my understanding of a creative force emanating from the greater Universe which I have attempted to place myself creatively. Whether one believes it or not is the question but it is how I perceive this truth for myself. I am now satisfied that a loving Christian God accepts me unconditionally. so it no longer matters to me whether the Mosques or the Cathedrals or the Synagogue or the Rasta camps finds it acceptable. Like I said there is still much discussion that needs to be addressed in all of these faiths regarding equality and it is these people who feel the need to separate themselves at a point of love irrespective of anthers perspective not I. I also resent other women attempting to frame my identity for me. That right is exclusively mine and each of ours individually and so I shall continue rebelliously to achieve that aim. I certainly do not wish to live in a category.Love as I said remains the key to change. I shall continue to do it regardless of race, nationality or faith. That is my liberation. Forgive me when I fall short of this...Amen!

I shall continue to follow my understanding of love and really I just at this point right now cannot accept how some individuals practice their faith what ever Religion as it is far too judgmental and full of hate. This is not true of everyone and these Religions do have their origins in the point of infinity but I am also learning that this has more to do with power that seems to me based in some insecurity about who they are at a point of equality...

The Creative Process...

I have chosen to describe my creative process. I don't think I ever tried to do it for myself before now. As an art facilitator, it has been about the development of the other individual but I have worked continually with an overview and philosophy. Hopefully that will not stop. I know it can be complex based on my travels and the interests I have followed and the weird way in which I look at the world. Experience is also a good teacher and I have worked and learned from many different perspectives and many cultures- including my own. This is truly old fashioned in today's age of post modern thought and identity and race politics.I never could understand our divisions which is why I always attempted to unify them in some way. I found this unity in Modern art which saw art in terms of the progress of creative freedoms and the struggles toward a stronger sense of individuality. I bathed with delight in their efforts to define time and space with form and figure leading us into a new reality beyond the naked eye. Many sought this through a spirituality away from the formal understandings of a Religious doctrine. They looked to many sources including the 'primitives'- African and other earth cultures including Japanese art.. I use this term sarcastically as I believe it is dangerous to categorize anything but it is how the world works with labels. I had another artist compared my art to the Bahamian artist Amos Ferguson. I think it is because I have developed my style into simple shapes and form. I am an abstract artist but find I delve into both worlds interchanging them continually. It takes courage to do this as for most Bahamians Realism is preferred as that is what defines art for them. You have to know how to draw. My art however has been about discovering that creative freedom through line, space and form. I also have the additional curse and fortune of seeing symbols and images which predominately are simple but not exclusively. In that sense I believe they may draw some comparison to Amos and the Bahamian artist Tony Mackay who worked culturally but used art intuitively. They produced paintings that worked from the inside out rather than the outside in within a psychic imprint that spiritually left its memory. There is merit in everything but I have chosen to deconstruct all cultural narratives as far as I can to reach that point of infinity (freedom) through transcendence to see the Universal. I wish I had more time to develop this but selling souvenir items does sometimes get in the way of this but I enjoy that process too. I guess I wished to put down how this creative process worked for me as I do get offended when it is interpreted without understanding the extraordinary journey I have had as an artist to reach the simple development in its execution. It is a journey that has taken me twenty five years to have the courage to do. I felt it necessary to use this process in my struggles toward self acceptance with love and this has taken me deeper into that understanding
placing myself into the greater living universe within that creative force through healing and love. I have delved into some of its mysteries. It is not a place for self hatred and fear whomever one is and that discovery has been the greatest lesson I have ever learned... Peace and love...

Hour Meets the Minute...

There will come
a time
when the hour
meets the minute
love unfolding
within the moment
I hear it near
that sound
striking closer
Now being here
already
a metronome
beating with
each heart beat
then we'll know...

Love...

From the womb
majesty
Crown's the head
heals the heart...

David...

The five-pointed star symbol in Christianity is also known as the Star of Bethlehem. (I am non denominational and really just wish to follow a path of love)

The Edge of the Sea....

This is the title of several of my poems about the sea and the line between here and there from the shore over into the vast ocean. I often placed myself along the edge which suggests meditation about what lies beyond- that which is known and unknown. I have a tendency to repeat these images, metaphors and even the titles to reflect a state of mind or feeling in contemplation. The Ocean and sea or any body of water for me is healing that continues endlessly. It is a place where the center of the soul lies. Last evening I had another dream which brought this metaphor alive again. It involved my mother who had recently past on. This time she came to speak with me. I cannot remember exactly what we said. I believe we had some idle chat but it was how we had talked normally about ordinary things in life. Eventually we went walking. She led the way and along the side of the sea shore. The next I knew is that she was bathing naked along the edge of the shore, splashing freely into its waves. She had become young as if she was in her twenties. She then turned to swim off in the ocean. I woke up knowing this was a good dream and according to how I use the metaphor that she had returned home. Her spirit was free. Nakedness can mean something sexual which is good but more often than not I use it as a metaphor to reflect honesty - that which has been stripped to an essence of truth. It was a beautiful dream and put my mind at rest as it meant my mother was at peace and her soul had gone on beyond. I have been the rebellious child, always getting myself into some trouble and falling many times with my mother always there to pick up the pieces. I surely felt her hand and even her prayers during this time of healing of being lost and found. I felt her presence today continually. I still feel it. Images sometimes appear to me when I close my eyes and again there were interchanging geometric shapes concluding with a five shaped star. These as I believe emanate from a point of infinity.They were all aspects of the Star of David and even the name of David appeared. I still don't quite understand what this is all about and know this may sound crazy to some but it is always how I have seen images as an artist. I think it is all good because it is all about love. I miss my mother dearly but I think she was assuring me that we will meet again. I wish her God speed on her journey and peace! Thank you for everything, it is a debt I can never pay...