MY SPECKLED BROWN EGG

I'm remembering a beautiful thing I owned
at the tender age of three
a tiny elliptical egg with specks
fixed in a claw
within a branch of a rubber tree


wedged between twig and limb
burning threads woven into nest
of all the wonderful things I'd seen
I knew to love this best


day after day I'd glaze upon
this dusted stone of ivory
I'd slip away from all the rest
to love it secretly


a glimmer of jewel in crown of thorns
shimmering yellow and gold with amber
like specks that turn from yellow to gold
on a sun drenched day in September


from day to day I'd labor on
to love it with adulation
another Sun desolved to dusk
dark shroud to cloak frustration


swept up in wind into a swirl
finally I scooped it away
I thrusted it near and by my side
where it would neatly lay...


wrapped in a muslin cloth to care for
now I had possessed it
I stroked it gently, warm in hand
to love as I caressed it


I clasped it hard against my breast
and tight against my heart
then felt it crush beneath the load
crumbling as it fell apart


then I knew this lesson learnt
of love held jealously
could never ever be possessed
and only live when free


still faint as residue
that haunt and fade within the mind
upon a ghost of memories
to drift and sail through time...

WHAT I KNOW

OLD BARDS



(SONGS & CONVERSATIONS)

Traveling minstrels in a show
juggling poems for a crowd
what's new is old
what's old is young
what has been said
has already been done
so here's to old bards
from ages gone
"I hope you don't mind
that put down in words
how wonderful life is
while you're in the world
... know its not much
but it's the best I can do
my gift is my song
this one's for you"


YOU

like a flash of light
you appeared
suddenly before me
didn't even know you were there
that I was even looking
but there you were coy and cute
dancing to a silent tune
for only you and I to hear
amidst the hustle and bustle
of a busy side walk
moment stood still for eyes to meet
now I search for you everywhere
even when you are not there...

YOU DID NOT RETURN

looked for you today
disappointed you did not come
how desperate I must seem
old and pathetic I think
always wishing you there
with only moments and glimpses
to fill me with your presence
I cannot disguise that joy when you are there
or empty disappointment in your absence
and through this chaos
I think of you always
yet the hunger for you to return
gives purpose for tomorrow

LOVE IS KIND

I thank God for kindness
the gentle kindness in your eyes
you speak to me with your eyes
and I see kindness in love
I had given up hope
that it had ever existed
or if it ever really did
in me or in others
you restore hope
although I am quite wretched
I always believed in love
tried to search it out
always playing this game in illusions
kindness can exist in reality
through love
although I never got it right
I see love in your eyes
and with your smile...

MAY BE TOMORROW

maybe tomorrow
will bring a better day
where masks do not disguise
our hearts and minds
where love is seen as the essential
where God is seen with love
may be tomorrow
we'll live the truth
behind this masquerade
may be tomorrow...just maybe
you'll come

YOU BRING PEACE

you bring me peace
deep from within
that settles a restless mind
incomplete and out of sorts
waiting to self destruct
how special you must be
to bring such calm to this storm
how selfish I must be
to wish this for an eternity
existing limitless in time
closer to life
closer to love
as never before...
freeing me with the truth
with an honesty in your eyes
you bring peace
within my love
and I am humbled by your intent
elevated by your grace
you bring with you...
a song

I STAND BEFORE YOU
here I am
I stand before you
naked in my truth
or its falseness
I do not know
still many rivers to cross
I pray life lasts
to understand its depth
as I stand before you
naked

ACROSS MY FEARS
a stone was thrown
across my fears
today
I have many fears
about everything
what the mind imagines
the world to be
people within it
I spin illusions
like a magician
or trickster
not knowing
what is real or imagined
a stone crossed my heart
today
breaking open a mind
full of insecurities
I have many
that can crumble instantly
this facade...
behind me with
in my fears however real
or imagined
it's no good to live a life
in fear

A POET'S MUSE

you are this poet's muse
whose song is sung to you
behind solitary walls
for only you to hear
I break free my lips to speak
and cast my words away
from the deafness of others
you listened with silence
as I struggled to form thoughts
to safely reach your ears
and from this better wisdom show
what weary poets seek to know
listening comes with a greater grace
than words could ever be

MY SWORD, MY PEN

I wish I knew the words to say
to bring you near to me
I have a sword
it is my pen
cutting through slate
carving thoughts onto pages
I wish I had the grace to know
words better than I know
to bring you nearer
my pen like a soft feather
stroking words
with images of you

THROUGH YOUR EYES

I have been the voyeur
observing the world
through my eyes only...blindly
a child not knowing
where to fit in
mesmerized by its sights
I've seen many worlds
never belonging ...
anywhere
I belong ...
somewhere
through your eyes...


NEVER STOP BEiNG HEAR
I can never stop being here
there is always something that makes me here
coarse and abrassive
I wonder if i am capable of civlity?
the kindness it takes
the love needed
the gentleness desired
the respect required
I am not so civilized
always fighting with my pride
exposed to elements left raw
with passions and feelings
desires and wants
always sombody reminding me
being elsewhere is unattainable
with you
maybe within a glimpse
I am there with you
where I am is not near enough
of where I wish to be..
I long for civility
laying still while the waters swell
as 'self' battles God
waiting patiently for love
to join both
without your presence
the cask is empty
never stop being near
never stop being here...


FOOLISH HEART

Foolish heart
foolish mind
to dreams these dreams
so far away
pushed back to realness
where things remain the same
within these dark nights
and clouded days
light cracking through
drops of rain
shedding rays
with every act of hope...

I SEE THE SUN

I see the Sun
it shines too brightly
seeking flight into freedom
how it burns
against the eyes
scotching skin
like icarus wings
melting in its heat
I seek the light
so clearly now
without eyes
without wings
to let go
heart to set me free...

NEXT TO ME

I need you there
I feel complete
all memories fade
with only you on centre stage
where my love rests
all too much this
everything
you make sense of how
and where I wish to be
now you know the dangers of me
both external and within
perhaps it is never enough
but I need you there
right next to me...

WHAT I KNOW

I never know the subtlety of mind
when you are there
just chaotic rushes
running wild with joy
childish excitement
crowding empty spaces
from within
my aloneness sees clearly
love
with your absence
distilling feelings
tenderly
never letting go
of you...

THE DANCE

you took me dancing
cheek to cheek
I had forgotten
music existed
I fall too easily
for the song
lose balance
in its sweet melody
yours was the sweetest
reaching the highest note
a loss of love
can be a death
you bring life
with your song
in your dance

TOO MANY WARS

too many wars
keeping love apart
too many wars
blocking love from happening
always someone stopping the way
often me it seems
dividing love
forgive me
I often lose my way
in love

REMEMBERING

you brought life
and a remembering
to love
sanctuary with hope
for a time
you brought me to my senses
seeing, touching, hearing
feeling again
I am destined to fail
ultimately these things
I believe...that is my way
but to dance again
in summer and in spring
packaged neatly
within a gentle heart..
it was a gift of everything
I was not worthy ...
knowing a time to end
that is the way
ultimately with me...

UNREQUITED

Dreams fade
into rivers
flowing continuously
like strands of hair
rushing with the wind
through tributaries
love unanswered
remains unspoken
deep as wells
like the soul
endlessly flowing...

(THANKS)