Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Healing...




I am either very foolish or very courageous to put all this down onto my blog. Time will tell. All I do know is that it took prayers and an honesty to carry me through this process of self realization- it took guidance and love from a higher source free of judgment. It seems that I have walked around for years with personal wounds that just could not heal. Some I have addressed and others I choose to remain private. I believe I come from a culture where this happens a lot. I have felt quite alone in facing them at times. I will be very honest, I am human and some I cannot love because their hatred is too strong. Others still exist in their own fears and those may or may not be faced in a lifetime which I cannot go beyond. I can only attempt to change what I can but am learning to accept what I cannot. It is an old prayer but that too is wisdom. I am not God and have limitations. These are my healing symbols, my God and self love. It was important not to judge the love nor the hate as I processed in order to move on according to life and purpose. Both may be justified.One should never be afraid of one's own thoughts or feelings nor keep them bottled up repressed. They must have air and space to dissipate or grow from. We embody all that is negative and positive. Healing comes from light not in the recesses of darkness and fear. The first half of my poetry and writings on my blog shows this - full of dark images in isolation craving light and love- searching. The other embraces life, love and light. This is where I believe a point of where true healing occurs. it is important for me to learn that others have no right to keep me in that fear. It is not God spirit that drives them to do it but the need to control over another in their desire for power. That too, as one frees oneself from it, becomes evident when exposed in the light especially when it is not centered in love...peace and respect...and really I do have to do concentrate on producing better paintings now. They really had been quite neglected and have suffered during this time...

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