At a loss...

I am now at a loss as what to produce regarding my visuals as tourist items. I am uninspired and lack some sort of vision of where to go next with it. With the other vendors around me, I feel the need to now take a different tact regarding how I market my wares- to become more professional with how I present myself out there on the wharf and diversify. It is good practical sense just in being able to make a living. I do have an adverse reaction to it all however and react to being a part of a main stream anything, hence it is why I am out there to begin with. I am stubborn and want to try to be successful without many if not all of the artists around me. I do know all of them from the most accomplished to the up and coming. I am more inspired talking with a younger generation who are open to what I have to say creatively as a Modern artist. Perhaps it is simpler to do 'commercial' art and one that appeals to a general sensibility, there is an instant feed back which is good for the ego. I really don't know how to compete in this market. I become stagnant and unproductive if I am competing with someone else. It is why I wish to get into a studio to develop my own personal style with other themes relating to my inner consciousness rather than 'surface' art which just relies instant visual approval. I must begin to make being out there profitable however with a practical business sense. I find I do need this also to feel fulfilled. It is not that I am against doing it and find I can enjoy that part of it as well but I need to find a balance to let these other thoughts come through. There is much I have touched on as an artist in the past few months that I wish to now develop further creatively..I can also grow within the aesthetic of commercial art. Each can uplift the other. Anyway, I shall see what happens 'cause broke don't feel good and last year's difficulties has aged me physically. I am truly tired!...Peace and love...