Alchohol and dependency...

When you take the alchohol program at Sandilands Rehabilitation Centre, the first thing they warn you about is getting into any sort of relationship for at least a year. One is dealing with issues of dependency and it is easy to transfer those feelings onto another- many become co- dependents of another kind. It can lead one back onto the drug you are trying to get off of as it puts additional stress and pressure on the individual. It does not matter who the person is or what orientation. It takes about a year to learn to stand on one's own feet again and to re-intergrate oneself into the land of the living - there is a lot of fear. Remember I spent most of it as a drunk.It means avoiding people, places and things. I have virtually stayed planted in my coffee house everynight. It has been over a year for me now and I believe I can begin trusting myself to start a normal existance which means venturing out from the routine I have carved out for myself. I can begin to search out love again (if anyone would have me- I am still quite a physical mess) I have changed locations in my life now and am meeting new people and renewing old friendships - people with responsibilities. The places where I went before were chaotic with very little structure. I have also had to take a back step from the art world as there too alchohol was most prevelent. In doing this I have discovered that there is a life outside of where I thought I needed to be. I believed there was nothing else. It is time to take the training wheels off and begin a normal proactive life. I have met some terrific people and they are like family to me. I would like to thank them as they have been a tremendos support during this time. I feel fresh and excited about life and I believe I have something to offer now. I have said it before but it is worth repeating again that there life after recovery. I think I was probably drinking myself to death and now I wish to live as long as I can with good health. I really do wish you luck if you have fallen pray to alchohol or drugs. It takes confidence and courage to get back on track with your life. It means knowing that you are beautiful and worth the effort. Nothing is written in stone so you can turn the page and move on...continued peace on your journey to recovery...You are not alone, I love you...