Time...

I think of a time
eternity
but what if there is nothing
The end in real time
what if this is it
life tolerable
nothing is comfort too...

Change and Fortunes...

It has been some time since I have made an entry onto my blog...this is because i have had a transitional change from working out on the dock where i have been selling my souvenir items. i also had a brief relapse into my drinking again which i am glad to announce that I am back on track with sobriety . i have now returned to being a free lance artist and try to do as best as I can in this interim until i am settled again into regular work. This is taking up much of my time and creative energies so the practicality of earning a living has taken precedence over my creativity....hopefully i will soon be able to concentrate in this area again but for now this is just to touch base with my activities....peace and love...

Change...

It is change
transformation
and transition
I defy
the course of this wind
face adversity
straight in the face
standing upright
like a concrete block
I shall go on....

Art illegal...

Art illegal
Art for sale
All for sale
Sold out!...

Into my defiance...

I see far
past our impasse
and your resolution
into my defiance
flesh and blood
through a stone wall
perhaps love
is too complicated
I complicate it
make it absurd
still I push
against the layered bricks
that line your heart...

Bath of Salt...

Move like a crest
upon the waters
laugh into its waves
This moment leaving the last
eroding shores
as tongues
lick the ocean
turning and twisting
with the utterance
of change
It is a baptism, change
in a bath of salt...

Long ride home...

I imagine
sipping cocktails
in the riviera
on a veranda
but here I am
A.A meetings
I like to get high
I forget the low
falling short again
a recovering drunk
It's a long ride home
brush yourself off
and start again
kick the dust
It's only a bend
in the road
hangovers are no fun...

From a distance...

Had a dream
seeing from a distance
coast to coast
land and sea
the lush of green
and blue waters
traveling places
rolling with the tide
with spirits
of the sky
westward bound
as never before
places I've never been
It was possible
full of possibilities
I knew then
there was more
much more to come...

If Love comes not...

If love comes not
or just appears
within a mystery of a spell
a place from here to there
is everything
I crossed a road
and over the tracks
moving with the sun
I've grown
with each step
Loving you
was loving me
and that was worth
the journey...

Autumn love...

Come, my love
touch me
in the rain
with these
September showers
I long to be near
as it flows
through your hair
like a river
leading to my heart
its ocean, wide
Autumn love
fresh as rain
falling on my face
while I think of you....

Keepin' strong....

I have come far
on this road
two years sober
re-arranging my life
like Lego blocks
it looks in order
it was hard at times
but I kept you
in the picture
I still have far to go
to be worthy
gotta keep strong
keep goin'
know that I love you
I've learn t
from the past
seeing more clearly
as we pass
one world
in which we both live...

Last dance...

Last dance
rumblin' and rollin'
into the horizon
visions of light
with a softer rock
don't have to work hard
at lovin' you
too easy this feeling
listening to the heart
flowin'
while you walk
as you move
floating with wings
into the sun...

You are my light....

I am determined
to love you
to be my best
try my hardest
in every way
I am coming
from a dark whole
scratched my way out
to be at the top
facing life
as it turns
on its terms
two years
working through my chaos
you are that light
that saw me over
just wanted you to know...

Rise with me...

For you...
Let me in
still carrying a tune
in musical blues
trumpet trumps
swayin' loosely
between cracks
along the edges
Can you see
the difference
in me?
How far I've come?
Drifting like refined bubbles
from a glass
of champagne
rising on a natural high
intoxicated
from the thought
of you
meeting it
with new challenges
sipping love
from life
rise with me
and let me in....

Calm eye...

It needs to be
in a mess
for me to see
clearly
whirlwinds
twirling
to a still center
I hold onto loving you
like an anchor
in the storm
there will be time
for us
with a patient heart
and calm eye
being me
is scary sometimes
but may be
that is all I need
to be...

Dreaming you near...

For you...
I dream you near
love you closer
so far I've come
just to be human
all for you
a drop
in a sober reality
life seems worth it
all of a sudden
because of you...

So far away...

For you...
how is it
that we seem
so far away
amidst the chaos?
Life carries on
moves things
in the way
I am lost
in the jungle
of rumbling sales
jumbling words
can't think
not even of you
now I know why
they build parking lots
have proper shops
see you
in the passing...

Market Folk...

Living like
on the backstreets
of Calcutta
raffia overflowin'
into the walkway
within the bustle
of market folk
hustlin' a sale
fake Gucci bags
beads and shells
Hurricane Irene
sent the people
sprawlin'
along the dock
into a frenzy and fuss
squeezing tight
in little boxes
shifting and movin'
in the market place....

The Season I know...

It is a season I know
a familiar scent
full of recollections
I recall
this trodden track
with beaten path
and artery
paths that meet
some that lead
like once before
I know them well
I know you well
through it all
all I want is you
still dreamin'
after all these years
chasing rainbows
in the name of love
I believe in this
I believe in you...

Rise...

Well, 'Rise' our theater/dance project is well on the way and hope to be realized on stage within the next few months. I am working with some fantastic artists and it is a great play. It has only taken a year to reach this point amidst personal struggles and otherwise. I went very far into my reasoning for doing it and hope you forgive my indulgences. I believe it will be well received and meet with success and approval...stay tuned!

Understand why...

Help me
to understand
why
to overcome somehow
this world
I do not know
this part
that divides us
nor the complexion
of the night
we stand alike
in that darkness
living in sameness
eyes seeing only with light
our skins
and the world
they live in
sometimes
I feel like a nigger
when you remind me
of the difference
of our worlds...

"If a man loses pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away. "

Henry David Thoreau

The writing experience...

I was just sitting down thinking how my poetry and writing have developed in particular. I started off wishing to write of grand things that dealt with the timeline of our human existence. I still wish to, which embodies a more classical sensibility. I began to realize however that I wanted to say things that were more immediate to what I was thinking. This required me often just stating what it is I was going through. Perhaps I have lost something in my execution but believe I have gained more with my honesty. I am discovering 'voice' and a more personal view of my feelings and expression thus fostering a greater sense of freedom and individuality. It is more exiting to write from that place of truth. It does risk being more indulgent but I feel it is important to remain true to one's experiences. I have gone from being very cultural and political to wishing to paint the landscape of my emotions, moving farther into the human condition. I prefer at this moment to write love poems of which there is a long history by great writers - I am in love. It is a bit old fashioned but I am a hopeless romantic. All art is about communication and the more honest one is touches that truth in others. That is what I believe art is supposed to be about. Peace and love to you on this journey to truth...

When its over...

For K.
It's time to move on
let go
keep makin'
the same ole mistakes
jus' when I thought
I was over you
you come to me
in memories
It could have never been
you and I
I know that now
jus' tryin'
to make some
sense of it all
you and I
could never have been
I think I understand
that now
Where does love go
when its over?

Last night in a dream...

for K.
I saw you
last night in a dream
you looked beautiful
we met
eye to eye
reconciled
I've not written
nor spoken to you
in over eight years
so abrupt
our parting
unexpected
I loved you as before
fixed like the image
I saw of you
This with the passing
of time
and I still dreaming
of you...

Success and more rest!...

I am glad to report that my operation went well and am now in recovery. I needed time for rest and am forced to lay still for a moment - I miss working! I don't know how long it will be but I hope to start up again soon. It is light work for me as I am instructed to do no lifting for the next month and a half which is what the vast majority of my work requires so I plan to switch to canvas completely away from sawing and sanding wood for my paintings. I get a chance to be normal for a change like other artists. At times I wish I was a more conventional person and did things like other people. No such luck but I think I'm pretty nice anyway. See you on the dock..love and peace...

If you were here...

for you
You come to me
in the silent hours
of the night
voice sounding
like a crystal bell
moving through the air
reaching me
as if you were here
within the softness of a lyric
and the kissing of lips
I behold the dark
with the calm eye
of my love
heart beating
as drops of rain
endlessly
wishing you were here...

Naked part one...

The streets are naked
I am with them
exposed
Whose fix Ginsberg?
emotions roaring
with blowin' horns
Urban twilight
twinkling bright
in neon lights
red, blue and green
I want to get high
go higher
in the stereophonic sounds
of the city...

With these words...

This is real, really real
what I honestly feel
Isn't that what poetry
is supposed to be about?
I say i love you
I can't get any realer
than that
That's all I been trying to say
with these words
so many of them
I keep turning over
my heart
my head
sayin' just that
I love you
that's all I
want to say ....

Rest!...ART and LOVE fORever...

Well, it is the eve before my operation and I have spent my last day out on the wharf for at least a couple of weeks...I really am looking forward to doing absolutely nothing for a while...I suspect I shall be very bored after two days of rest and recuperation. I enjoy being very physical and creative even though I am quite tired at the moment. I have looked through my poetry since sobriety and really I have written allot although I don't know how good they are. I have had some published during this time however. I need to be a poet again in my visuals , that is the creative impasse I am going through and one that I believe requires rest. May peace be with you and love...I have no internet at home so I shall not be as active as i have been on this blog but suspect I shall continue to be inspired at home in bed...there is always the old fashioned pen and paper which I will take advantage of...the writing continues and so shall art! ART and LOVE FOREVER!

Slick and sassy...

for miLeS
Slick and sassy
slow movin'
corner blues
blowin' down
the town
Miles
takin' us far
farther
past time
into sweet
music reverie...

Is love enough?

Can I not gain
your heart?
Is it too late?
I think now
honesty
is never good enough
nor sincerity
I speak with words
that touch emotion
They are direct
Is love enough?
I feel not...now
I offer my soul
it is everything I have
I will continue to hope
and pray on miracles...

Perfect day...

for you
Could there be
such a perfect day
as today?
Rejoice full day
so long as light
shines on you
it brings joy
This beautiful day
full of you
visions invading me
with your
infectious smile
glimpsing
only a second
a moment
lasting a day....

Africa raining down...

Africa raining down
calling
on sleepy nights
wrapping
at a window
Farka and Cooder
playin' in the cool draft
of guitar riffs
four walls cover
the naked room...

Everlasting moment...

My love has grown
enriched by the passing
of time
You are hope
turning with the wheel
in this everlasting moment...

Originally written in the summer of 2010
Meant to...
I heard it in the sound
in the harbor breeze
running fast over waves
from churning seas
that I was meant
to love... no less
than all
I heard it in a voice
I saw it in a smile
with gentle feet that walked
and when they stopped awhile
that I was meant
to love...absolutely
a glass heart
shattering
with gusts of wind
and love
overflowing
into a cup to sip from
drinking not much
but a drop
holding everything...


All Paths...
you are the path
to which
all paths have led
leading to the center
and the heart
of the Sun...


Only You...
I cannot love
but whom I love
whom my heart
says I must
I cannot lie
in that truth
and only lay
within that truth..

DOUBT...

I lose faith
when that happens
I get angry
with myself and others
world crumbling
around me...
so
I hold onto believing
dreaming unrealistically
into a pool
of possibilities
swimming in the humility
of not knowing...

ever enough...
I love you
breast and soul
could that ever be enough
to touch your heart?
I don't have much
but if I were
promised a kingdom
of riches
it would mean nothing
without you in it
and God would have
no meaning
if it were in heaven
I love you
would that ever be enough
to touch your soul?
we live in a land
full of bigotry
fearing ourselves
everyday I am afraid
that those I love
will walk away
some will
I took the chance
of loving me
that will have to do
I guess I don't give
a damn
I love you
will that ever be enough?
a chance with me
is only love...

Sonnet #18

William Shakespeare - Sonnet #18

English poet and playwright, widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English Language.

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And Summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And oft' is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd:
But thy eternal Summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wanderest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee. 

The Passionate Shepherd to His Love

Christopher Marlowe
(1564 -1593) English dramatist, poet and translator of the Elizabethan era.

Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods or steepy mountain yields.

And we will sit upon the rocks,
Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,
By shallow rivers to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals.

And I will make thee beds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies,
A cap of flowers, and a kirtle
Embroidered all with leaves of myrtle;

A gown made of the finest wool
Which from our pretty lambs we pull;
Fair lined slippers for the cold,
With buckles of the purest gold;

A belt of straw and ivy buds,
With coral clasps and amber studs:
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Come live with me and be my love.

The shepherds' swains shall dance and sing
For thy delight each May morning:
If these delights thy mind may move,
Then live with me and be my love.

A poet's wit...

I live in a poet's wit
in dreams
you gleam in them
within the civil twilight
amongst the brightest stars
shining with ambient light
This, when the sun sets
below the horizon
where I am alone
with sweet tempered thoughts
between the dusk
and you...

Civil twilight-The time after sunset and before sunrise when the Sun is below the horizon. During civil twilight, the sky is still quite bright and only the very brightest stars and satellites can be seen.

Peace and always ...love

Complete...

You feed me
like a drug
I become intoxicated
when I see you
your eyes
playing soft
as a bamboo flute
I wish only
to speak with you
to you
through these poems
touch you
with these words
all else seems
incomplete
I am made whole
with you...

Funk to the groove...

Funk to the groove
rock and move
into the forbidden
two, three, four and...
'welcome to the new
power generation'
bump to the stomp
step in time
rhyme with reason
Dance!...

Cluttering the mind...

I don't care
about Sarah Palin
news of tragedy
here or else where
DNA, PLP, FMN
too much clutters
the mind
I care about
what is immediate
with the rhythmic beating
of a day
I care about love
having it to hold
in the warmth of my palms
I wish
I could paint it
like a crystal clear
picture on a lake
released not framed
so little time to dance
why waste it
on nonsense!...

From 'ODE INTIMATIONS OF IMMORTALITY FROM RECOLLECTIONS OF EARLY CHILDHOOD'

William Wordsworth

The English Romantic poet who, with Samuel Taylor Coleridge, helped to launch the Romantic Age in English Literature.

'Though nothing can bring back the hour
of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower
We will grieve not, rather find
strength in what remains behind;
In the final sympathy
Which having been must ever be
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind...'

The Muse...

You are my muse
a poet's reason
Being
crystallizing love
I see it with clarity
made nobler
by your presence
I look from afar
living in
every thought
of you
It is light
springing hope
with life
Your total beauty
is the gift
that inspires...

Heart and eyes...

It is too late
for me
I have lost
my heart and eyes
Blood rushes fast
when you are near
I look because
you are beautiful
forgive me
if eyes betray
I feel helpless
Should love be like this?
I cannot control
the heart
nor blind the eyes
to your beauty
so I have cast them
into the ocean
and the air
where you
carry them away...

If I were rich...

If I were rich
I'll sail away
roam far
I'd take you
with me
seeing over mountains
I'd buy you
the finest things
I wish to now
until then
I shall use words
as gold
and give them
all to you...

How can I...

How can I
make you
see me
when your eyes
turn away?
How can I
let you know?
I am too simple
but know that place
which is love
it is beyond my control
so I follow helplessly
where you lead...

A distant cry...

In an ancient lament
a distant cry away
Across a rugged rock
she wept
for love had gone astray
A rose fell from her bosom
beside the setting sun
eyes shutting closed like petals
her love had never come
He swore he'd never leave her
be there forever more
she ached to have him to kiss her
just as he'd done before
and now she stays there always
heart beating with the clock
tears falling down like pearl drops
upon the rugged rock...

Still...

For K.
I remember
knowing you
last night
I remembered
loving you
It felt
as yesterday
my heart
remembering
like an imprint
stamped boldly
I fucked up
freaked out
too drunk
to walk a straight line
with you
These are somber
rememberings
regrets
but light of love
remains
in sober recall...

El duende...

Dancing
on a volcano
drunken passion
overflowing soul
with insanity
El duende
evoking spirits
I cannot return
I must not remember
life meeting life
death meeting death
face to face
in joy and sorrow
on the precipice ...

El duende (art) is the spirit of evocation. It comes from inside as a physical/emotional response to music. It is what gives you chills, makes you smile or cry as a bodily reaction to an artistic performance that is particularly expressive.

When I die...

When I die
I suppose
it will not matter
much of what I think
but to liberate
one's mind
in the course
of a life
should mean something
Will I leave a legacy
of knowledge
or a song
to touch
the human soul?
I hope so
I'll try...

Albert Einstein...

Did they foresee
your genius
or understand
your reason?
you listened
to the spheres
hearing
its great symphony
its music
leading you
in the dance
You knew
You know
its revolutions
imagining
its grand design
saw it in a dream
now you create them
heaven sent
from the infinite...

Desires...

I want not
to rid myself
of desires
each morsel
I devour
in fits
of hungry madness
I feel you
with them
a taste
to fill appetite...

Thoughts of you ...

I lay in bed
with thoughts
of you
coming
like a soft light
through my window
A gentle flow lifting
my curtain
across mind
and over body
How sweet the scent
of love
in the morning air
touching each sense
to meet the heart...

The soul of the Universe...

I write often about abstract realities or things I feel that pertain to universal laws that regulate our physical existence. I am not a scientist but try as I best to understand as a lay person. It was an important creative exercise I went through regarding 'Religion, Myth and Fantasy (the imagination)'. It was necessary for me to deconstruct personal, cultural and religious narratives to reach a point of singularity where I believe is the origin of creation- I call it the point before all stories (zero). I am not sure if anyone finds what I have done interesting or not but It was important for me to see narratives as merely being constructed stories. I feel true healing can only happen in understanding that one is never trapped in any one particular narrative and that we each have the power to change cycles that tend to repeat themselves due to them. Nothing is fixed and we are only subject to natural Laws which we have no control over, i.e., birth, death and Natural disasters. I have delved into the creation and operations of the Universe through science but recognize that science for an artist has its limitations as it can never prove the existence of the soul - that comes through a faith and a belief in something other. We are the micro of a co creative force of the greater and lesser universe. I needed to free myself of these stories in order to grow and expand with knowledge through creativity and reason to reach this understanding. It is good to feel that I do not need to fear the proverbial 'boogieman' in the closet due to presupposed understandings nor be frozen within a given narrative- I have the power to change. As an artist, I suppose I shall die without anyone really understanding what i am attempting to do but feel the need to grow with these personal and creative discoveries. Certainly, I have walked the pain in the journey of the artist and being one has not been easy. I hope to continue my search for truth by breathing through the soul of the universe. It is more than as someone once said of our western concept of a magical transcendence into enlightenment but I believe centered with eastern philosophies that sees this as a unity of one with all realities of the conscious and the subconscious. My journey is about liberating oneself through creative freedoms. It is what I see as my role as an artist and cherish that light and beauty...Peace to you and love...

Delay...

There is a small delay in my operation. I did not have all the essential tests required and so it is postponed for a little while. So it is back to work in that time. I am tired and might take a couple of days off anyway. I dread having to work but see no other way out of it until then...peace....

Phoenix rising....

The flight
of the phoenix
rising
within the flames
from dust
and ashes
to resurrect
again...

Why be sad?...

Can't be sad
for too long
anymore
need to feel
the brightness
a ray
from the Sun
listenin' and movin'
to the sound
of the dancin' note
can't stay
in dark corners
There is always
love
There is always
life...

A Flash of Light...

So fast
you move
bolting and darting
pushing through
the crowd
like an arrow
shot from a bow
or a flash of light
in a dark cinema
can anything
anyone
slow you down?
Perhaps
my calm meditations
they are
always on you...

Andy's Tune...

Listening to Andy
play his guitar tune
riding
with dolphins
in the ocean's sea
waves coming fast
rolling over me...

Neruda's eyes...

Tonight I write
Neruda's saddest lines
I look with sad eyes
into an overcast sky
shivering in its grey
cold grey
How lonely
the seagull looks
in his solitary flight
above the boiling sea
The water's illusive grip
on the shores
is like my love
for you
I sink with the waves
into the ocean's
dark mysteries...


Pablo Neruda was a Chilean poet and politician. His real name was Neftalí Ricardo Reyes Basoalto. Neruda wrote in a variety of styles such as the erotically charged love poems 'Twenty Poems of Love and a song of Despair'

One soul...

I have made
my soul
one
breast and breath
I have made
my love
one
you and the sky
I search
for a line
to know its end
it goes on
love goes on
you go on
with soul's
immortal flow...

The human heart...

The human heart
from time immemorial
has searched
with equations
and angles in mind
our meaning
a struggle
to know
that greater part
us being finite
and this eternal...

A heart's song...

Sorry that
I lack restraint
the delicacy
It must be off putting
to know
that you affect me
this way
I need to be
with love
in tune
always with words
that speak
a heart's song
It is my way
This destitute artist
needs a home
a place
to live her feelings
if you ever forget me
know that I have built
a castle for you...

Poetry and art....

It is risky writing poetry as it reveals so much about the individual and leaves one exposed and vulnerable-it is one's truth. I have many themes and repeated images in my writing. I ask the great looming cosmic questions of who am I and why I am I here, who or what is God. My philosophy is pantheistic, i.e, a doctrine that equates God with the forces of the laws of the Universe. I believe in the infinite. This is interspersed with human experiences and lack of understanding about it all. Light and dark are very important shades as well as a spectrum of colors revealing life and emotions, moods and feelings. I use it to paint the sky indicating a wider scope of vision beyond our world and human existence - of life and death. Music is essential as I struggle to hear the sounds of the music of the sphere's. I listen to it when I write always as a backdrop to mood and sentiment. The sense of the artist in alienation is repeated throughout my poems which is a common theme with writers down through the ages. Love is a big theme or my lack of it as I see it as the center of all creation. I strive for its allusive touch with romantic yearnings - mirror's cracking, masks or glass breaking is about destroying the illusion or the search for a greater hidden truth behind a facade. It is getting to the core of truth which is just beyond reach. Water or streams flowing endlessly is a metaphor for eternity with infinite time and space interwoven. I use as common symbols of flowers, the moon and the Sun- the highest symbols reflecting human ideals. It reveals feminine and masculine energy taking flight with the imagination. There are many other repeated images as a striving toward understanding a greater truth hidden behind my illusion. It is important to be honest with oneself to strip that to its core. I present the creative ideal in a search to return to its center. I find redemption in loss but art is what we do with life to survive it. To place something in a 'bowl' means there is a larger space outside of it which cannot be held as it is too vast but provides that freedom to overcome. It is Agape (unconditional love), that which goes beyond our experiences and control but holds and embodies us instead. Dylan Thomas, the famous twentieth century Welsh poet, exclaimed that one should write poems about the 'kitchen sink'. It exemplifies how extraordinary ordinary things can become with the divine act of creation. I reserve my right to change at any time my feelings and views regarding all of what I have said in order to develop and grow as an artist..peace...

Phantom's mask...

A phantom's mask
hides with illusion
a fool's paradise
shadowing the soul
dissembling
in camouflage
its face
and affected air...

Empty Chair...

Careless trips
along a tight wire
into the arms
of an empty chair
The heart needs to love
who loves it
Caught in the middle
moving closer
toward that
dark corner
of disappointment...

Modernity and flesh of life...

I am beginning to understand why 'Modernity' may fail while trying to understand how it fits into the flesh of the human experience and why I may have come to a creative impasse regarding my paintings and visual expression- my creative block. I did not know where to go with it next. They lack now a personality and warmth of human feeling. Certainly, it is important to realize that there is a higher reality from how we exist but it is essential to keep human contact while striving toward this goal otherwise we may only become cold, impersonal machines that reflect a sterility. This does sound a little bit like the modern age. The soul is more than energy and light and shape and form. It is full of emotions that show our frailty. It encompasses us as total human beings in the back drop of life. I am beginning to think that I was a better 'flawed' artist before giving up drinking and have found it difficult to find that stream of freedom and spontaneity that came easily when I did. I am, however, a better person to be around and my ability to intellectually grow creatively with more clarity has expanded. I do not wish to abandon my search of how I have concluded to free lines for greater creative freedoms nor disregard simple form as there is much truth in it relating to the universe but the difference between art and science is that art should be a reflection of the soul. It should touch humanity that express the personal experience. It is having the courage to be vulnerable and naked in the moment. I believe Science helps to explain art and human existence but science alone is not enough. Its limitation is that it cannot reflect the soul nor love. That is why it may appear too impersonal. Love is the center of true art and its balance with creation. I often gush with emotions freely but I think it takes tremendous growth to expose the heart to risk failing. That is the human experience and living the truth. The other cold impersonal me that is being reflected in my art presently is not working and is the wrong direction. I feel empty in its execution and results. It should go to follow that I should at least become a better technical artist when having my emotions removed from the experience but the opposite has happened and I find it a has been a chore to paint anything.I am not the best technician or drafts man and certainly there are better artists than I who paint better pictures. My aim is to develop a personal style as an artist based on creative freedoms that is unique to my experience as a human being. It is about my striving toward liberation. I believe I have done well in that journey thus far but I need to risk 'me' more beyond my hidden fears -that dark star that omits no light. Art for me is synonymous with my individual identity. It takes time to develop both with maturity and I am not happy nor complete without the other. If my creativity is not there, I become dysfunctional as a person. I guess that is still my flaw. The struggle continues...peace and love....

Never grow tired...

I hope
you never
grow tired
of poems
or poetry
I am a poet
I forever see them
in the heart
pulling them
like a magician
pulls candy
and flowers
out of a hat
stringing pearls
on a neck-less
as gift to you...

Pushing through...

Pushing through
making strides
within the limits
of mind
in soulful visions
I see far
with imagination
stretching it
farther
Can I reach
its bounds?
It is the passage
not its destination
that matters
to bring
understanding...

Moonlight...

On the light
of the moon
rising
with the sky
sacred poetry
where lovers meet
catching dreams
I long to be there
walking its path
sitting
on the edge
dipping feet
into clouds...

Guitar riff...

for Andy Mckee
Drifting
to the sound
of a guitar riff
carried in a current
care less
carefree
on ward bound
to sail away...

Heart of Identity...

The more I think about it I believe one's true identity is the heart. I have spent many years exploring facets of this from a cultural or even a racial perspective particularly as an artist but as I get older I am beginning to realize that none of these identities really matter to me. This was an important search I embarked on and do not regret any of it. Some of it was done out of anger, others were through personal confusion- I wanted not to be ashamed of who I was. I have met many wonderful people and discovered things which I may not have done had I not taken this road. I feel the need now to close this chapter in my life and begin again without this being an issue at all. Is this possible in our world which strives on the divisions of the politics of identics? I am not a big player in that game and my opinion seems not to matter. It has very little relevancy in my life with the people I know but admittedly they are predominately black. I never see them as that which is my point just people I know. It is the heart that counts and how we relate to each other. For me that is the important point and everything else is irrelevant...peace

Petals beneath your feet...

Soft petals
beneath your feet
while you walk
spreading gold dust
you shine
from within
I live
loving you
your flaxen hair
and bright eyes
calling me to attention
when you come...

More to say...

what more
can I say?
I am full
with these
expressions
of love
I think now
just say it
'I love you'
the dignity
with which
you hold yourself
How long
can I go on
loving you?
I will wait
until
I can't wait
any longer
I hope always
and forever...

Make a poem...

I am not happy
unless I make
a poem for you
it completes
me being
I am overjoyed
when I see you
A spark simmering
these feelings
under the slow heat
of passion
I create pictures
to hold
your image
to keep you near
may be
one day I'll succeed
may be not
but I'll keep trying
scribbling words down
with the hope
you will hear them....

peace...

A song for tomorrow....

In a moment
a backward glance
sees sorrow
in yesterday
Blood moon
pales the evening red
in the sky
war's aftermath
a people
living
within calamity
belly sunken
generations fall
prey
to vultures
stripping it
like an abandoned carcase
I look forward
as blinding eyes
crack visions
of the past
we'll walk on
through the day's haunting
in this song
for tomorrow...

Yamacraw...

Shore spreading
along the coast
Yamacraw's sea
crashing spray
against
the ocean's wall
high tide
washes the beach
in moonlight
at dusk
warm currents
flow underneath
withdrawing
with the tide...

God is 'zero' which is infinity...

It is the language of mathematics and spirituality. 'The width of the length of infinity cannot be obtained and it knows no bounds. Upon finding the solutions, new questions are posed'.'Zero' mathematically can appear to be nothing or everything according to one's perception.'It is Modernity and a super-reality of perception, not an abstract! God= Zero!

Solely you, wholly you...

Can I please you
writing poetry
always
solely for you,
wholly for you?
nothing else
to occupy mind
but you?
spend
a life time with it
in every moment
expressing you?
This forbidden fruit
I nurture
in a nest
of fragile eggs
incubating love
to be born
within the warmth
of a poet's passion
A lonely sufferer
courting
unsuccessfully
against your
bashful indecision
for me
to remain
this solitary voice...

Because, it is so...

I imagine
spinning
expanding outward
my consciousness
because it is so
curving
in the cosmos
through its pathways
holding absolute
and random effects
I place love
into its light
like a petal
in the hands
of God
sensing your heart
moving into
the heavens
there I feel
the constant you
free
with being
loving you everywhere
unfettered
because it is so...

The Production of 'Rise'...

I have spent the last year facing my fears, spouting aphorisms and leaping with faith into my imagination. It was a difficult year as these deep fears and insecurities were reflected in my creative visual work and I became impotent at times. I still am struggling with getting back to a creative state with which to do my paintings after losing my footing. These fears were also released through my inner thoughts onto these blog entries. I started with the announcement that I was going to write and direct a play about homosexuality entitled 'Rise' with the image of a bird in flight. It was me admitting my own orientation and set forth with dedication to see this project completed. Efforts now are going into seeing it realized on stage. I held onto my spirituality with tenacity to help me through the process. I feared most of all doing a play like this in our Country. I felt exposed and vulnerable. This is my pilot project after giving up drinking after years of abuse. It is important to see it through to its end for many reasons. It is a good play and it is written with a sexual candor that before I may have avoided. So I am now back to where I started.It is a personal triumph regardless of how it is received and I have approached it with body and soul. I am half way there now as it must now find its way into production. I am inspired and know already its most important success, my having the courage to do it!...peace...