Being Gay without fear...

I really thought I would have nothing more to say about being gay after all this. My life is so private outside of my art and I wished it to remain so but I feel I do need to reaffirm this occasionally. My initial fear once deciding to 'come out' was how would people react to me. This is a small community and everybody knows each other. I am a solid member and grew up knowing the Bishop,the pauper and all the neighbors. It is predominately a Bible belt and people can say some of the nastiness things regarding it- they mean to keep you intimated and fearful. I am generally liked, would this attitude change? Actually, I have only spoken it on my blog which family members have read along with some others but for the most part none seem to be the wiser nor appear to care. We are very homophobic here perhaps because we are from homogenous culture which has a tendency repel anything or anybody who is different to it. Why was it so important for me to do this? I was sick inside and needed healing. I no longer wished to be contained after accepting this reality about myself. I envied all those who had the courage to speak and be their truth- I have many friends in the gay community.Life seemed to happening without me. I did not want to hide in groups or set myself outside of where I normally am. How would all this reflect on my family? There is still allot of homophobia and unfortunately some of these fears still exist for me.The play that I am doing was a reaction to all the ugly things I was hearing about gay people particularly by the men I work along side of down at the wharf and who I see daily- taxi drivers, Ferry boat operators etc....They are some of my friends. I was embarrassed for gay people around or from those coming off the ships.I wanted to be heard and seen as one myself. These homophobic men and women never seem read my blog so for now life has remained peaceful without too much friction. It is easy to be afraid within this backdrop and I was embarrassed to admit it. I am just getting used to the idea of being gay and am becoming more at ease with myself now. It feels good to finally be 'out' and who I am, free of the struggle and confusion. It is a journey one has to do for oneself no matter how supportive people may be around one. The greatest lesson that liberty may teach is to be free one's self. This was a major step for me and in being this I have begun to rid myself of fear...peace and love....